Ouran: the disney musical
by SensuallyPassionate
Summary: the host club has the wildest day ever as they sing and dance their ways into haruhi to make her confess something. NOT INSPIRED BY HISCHOOL MUSICAL. I HATE THAT MOVIE. anyway enjoy. try 2 guess the couple.
1. Chapter 1

Haruhi had an eerie feeling that she just couldn't explain as she entered the third music room. It was early morning and everything seemed to be in order and all normal, but here nothing is normal, but something felt different. For a reason she felt like she was in an alternate reality. The usually fan girl packed music room was empty, none of the hosts where there, and it was only a note tapped o the table that really caught the young woman's eye.

Haruhi walked over to the table and picked up the note, curious of its contents, reading it aloud.

_We will break you. One way or another. We will make you profess. One way or another. _

Haruhi arched an eyebrow at the letter and crumpled it up, throwing it in the wastebasket soon after. Not really knowing what the letter meant, she dismissed it and carried on. Thinking maybe they were off somewhere else, haruhi began to walk towards the door, but was stopped when all the lights went out and only one light shone in the middle of the floor.

CHAPTER ONE 

"Guys, what is going on?"

"machere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents - your dinner!"

"Hikaru?!" haruhi called out as the red head boy made himself visible

Hikaru smirked and snapped his finger, making the lights bright again and dozens of servants appear out of nowhere, holding trays of food and an array of drinks. Snapping once more, a familiar Disney ™ tune started to play as the servants began to sing.

"Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test…"

"Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie And we'll provide the rest" Hikaru finished.

"Umm…hikaru… is this all…" Haruhi started but then stopped as he realized she was singing and being picked up by he servants, "Wait, wait, wait, I'm going to fall!"

"Soup du jour, Hot hors d'oeuvres, Why, we only live to serve, Try the grey stuff"

"The grey stuff?"

"THE GREY STUFF!!!" Hikaru repeated.

"I don't know..It looks strange…it is done…is it migraine?"

"NO!" Hikaru smirked as he slided over to haruhi, "Hunnny!"

"It's delicious, don't believe me? Ask the dishes, They can sing, they can dance, After all, Miss, this is France."

"No, no, no, this is wrong, why are we all singing in song? And more importantly hunny this is Japan. Dishes can't sing nor can they dance and hikaru please no sliding on your pants, this is just all too weird."

"Ah" hunny squealed as the music stopped and he snapped his finger, making dishes appear, "I see haru-chan is a non-believer."

"Ummm…."

"DISHES!!!!"

"And a dinner here is never second best ,Go on, unfold your menu ,Take a glance and, then you'll ,Be our guest ,Oui, our guest ,Be our guest!"

"Are those dishes singing?"

"YES!" shouted hunny and hikaru as they danced a choreographed number with the dishes.

"First off why am I singing second off someone's phone is ringing third off it's no where close to dinner. It's only half past nine and we're wasting time singing and dancing around. So let's stop and get to class before my father whips my ass, I did not come here for fun and games."

"Aw come on haruhi we're to make you laugh" hikaru sang as he danced himself over to the girl, "You know you want to just relax and let us allow you to be…"

"Beef ragout, Cheese soufflé, Pie and pudding "en flambé" the servants sang.

"We'll prepare and serve with flair, A culinary cabaret! You're alone And you're scared, But the banquet's all prepared No one's gloomy or complaining While the flatware's entertaining. We tell jokes! I do tricks With my fellow candlesticks"

"So you expect me to be your guest?"

"EXACTLY!" Hunny squealed as it was his turn to sing, "And it's all in perfect taste  
That you can bet. Come on and lift your glass, You've won your own free pass  
To be out guest!"

"If you're stressed, It's fine dining we suggest" hikaru chimed in.

"But I am here to pay off my debt, not prance around and be your guest."

"Haruhi, haruhi, haruhi" hikaru tsked, "Just sit down in your chair and be or guest! It's just all a plan to make you confess you true hearts desire."

"My what?!"

"Uhhhhhhh…" hikaru stuttered as the music stopped and everyone stopped dancing, "Just shut up and be our guest!…MUSIC!!!!!!"

"Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Get your worries off your chest. Let us say for your entrée, We've an array; may we suggest" the servants sang and danced back to the music.

"Try the bread! Try the soup! When the croutons loop de loop It's a treat for any dinner. Don't belive me? Ask the china. Singing pork! Dancing veal! What an entertaining meal! How could anyone be gloomy and depressed? We'll make you shout "encore!" And send us out for more So, be our guest!"

"Well they all sure do sound good" haruhi gazed at all the food and continued to sing, "MAYBE JUST ONE EPICE I'M SURE."

"Be our guest!"

"Be our guest!" Hunny added with hikaru.

"It's a guest! It's a guest! Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed. With dessert, she'll want tea  
And my dear that's fine with me While the cups do their soft-shoein' I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing I'll get warm, piping hot Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot? Clean it up! We want the company impressed!"

"Renge?!"

"Yup haruhi and I want you to be our guest!"

"We did you dome from?"

"Haruhi….." renge smiled, "Don't worry about that, you're a guest so sit down and let us do the rest!"

"We've got a lot to do!"

"Is it one lump or two? For you, our guest!" Renge sang with hikaru.

"She's our guest!"

"She's our guest!"

"She's our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!" the servants shouted.

"Well… i can't say no to this food, it all looks so good so I guess I could be your guest!"

"YAY!!!!!" Hunny shouted

"Hooray!" hikaru added.

"And now haruhi……" renge sang softly as she brought out a huge cake that made hunny drool, "Time for dessert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Life is so unnerving For a servant who's not serving. He's not whole without a soul to wait upon. Ah, those good old days when we were useful...Suddenly those good old days are gone. Ten years we've been rusting Needing so much more than dusting  
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills! Most days we just lay around the castle  
Flabby, fat and lazy, You walked in and oops-a-daisy!"

"But I thought you all were rich didn't have to cook or wash the dishes?"

"NOT TE DAMN POINT!" the three hosts and the servant's yelled/sang in unison, "Now…back to the song…"

"Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request It's been years since we've had anybody here And we're obsessed"

"With your meal, with your ease Yes, indeed, we aim to please While the candlelight's still glowing Let us help you, We'll keep going Course by course, one by one 'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!" Hunny added while singing in his cute voice.

"Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest" Renge finished.

"Tonight you'll prop your feet up But for now, let's eat up!……Be our guest haruhi!"

"If you insist renge, hunny, and hikaru….I guess I can be your guest!"

"YAY!!!!!" The three shouted, "SERVANTS, SING THE REST!"

"Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, be our guest!"

**A/N: Well I got this idea in my sleep. I know weird and I just loved it. Anyway, ouran doesn't belong to be and neither does Disney or heir songs I'm going to use. Comments, flames, suggestions are all welcomed. Enjoy.**


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm so full!" The young girl groaned as she held her stomach and slowly walked down the corridor towards her class. She was over an hour late to her math class and already missed half the class. They were working on calculus and trigonometry, which haruhi had already mastered in fifth grade, and even know she already knew the lesson, she wanted to ace the class. Slowly reaching her classroom and soon entering it, haruhi sat down in her chair and laid her head on the desk.

"Ms. Fajikoa, where have you been?"

"I was.." she paused and hiccupped, only to receive a frown from her teacher, laughs from her classmates, and puzzled looks from tamaki, mori, and karou., "Being a guest."

"Excuse me?"

"I was" she hiccupped again, "a guest. Getting stuffed with food that is SO good."

"Well, that was not the answer I expected from my star student!"

"Mr. Yokosama, I am terribly sorry. I tried to come but the beef stroganoff, cheese soufflé', and other French foods I cannot pronounce were just so good."

"That is no excuse ms. Fajikoa. DETINTION!"

"DETINTION!?"

"Yes, now I will be right back. I have to get the paper work from the office."

"But…."Haruhi pleaded, "Please. I never had gotten detention before!"

"Well" he nonchalantly said as he walked out the door, "First time for everything."

Haruhi sighed as she slumped down in her chair and groaned in annoyance and frustration. She was angry at Hunny, Hikaru, and Renge for making her late by stuffing her with lots of food, that was SO good, but then again it was partially her fault. No one forced her to stay, but then again, she was being hoisted in the air by singing and dancing servants. How was she going to get down from that one?

"Haruhi, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Karou, I am just a bit upset."

"Seriously? Why?"

"Hunny, Renge, and Hikaru."

"Ah!" Tamaki shouted as he made his way over to Haruhi and Karou, "they sang the song didn't they?"

Haruhi hiccupped "Yes they did."

"My sweet, sweet, daughter!!!!" Tamaki exclaimed as he hugged haruhi, "I wasn't there to protect you! WHY!?"

"Tamaki-sempai, you're crushing me!"

"But they sang to you and made you eat all the horrible, horrible food! How dare they!!!"

"Actually" she hiccupped again, "It was very tasty."

"You had the crème bouclé?"

"Yes Karou and it was quite delectable."

"Mori, Hunny hurt HARUHI!!!!"

"Ah." Mori replied without even looking at the overly dramatic blonde.

"But he made her eat all the food!"

"Ah."

"Mori!!!!!"

"Ah."

"Sempai" she hiccupped again, "Calm down. I am fine."

"But you have detention." Karou grinned, "Can you survive?"

"I think I can."

"Well you know who's fault this is right?"

"Who?" asked Haruhi and karou in unison as Mori just looked up to face Tamaki.

"It's all your fault haruhi!" Tamaki exclaimed while running around manically.

"Mine?" she shrieked, "What I do?"

"You won't come clean." Karou said slyly.

"About?"

"Your feelings."

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb Haruhi" karou grinned as he got up and walked to the front of the room, "Just say it!"

"SAY WHAT!?"

"You…Love….the…sha….dow….king…."

"MY DAUGHTER IN LOVE WITH MOMMY? NONSENSE."

"I….DON'T!" she blushed, "I don't!"

"Yea, right!"

"Haruhi?" Mori called out, surprising the three of them.

"Yes sempai?"

"Did you drink the wine?"

She hiccupped once more. "Only a few glasses."

Mori grinned and chuckled lowly, directing his attention back to the window "Ask her Karou."

Karou smiled. "Do you love kyouya?"

"NO!"

"Sure?"

"Yes!"

"You think he's cute?"

"No!"

"You think he's sexy?"

"Yes…I mean no!"

"You want him?"

"No!"

"Can you have him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because he is rich and probably doesn't feel the same way I ……WAIT!!!!!!"

Karou and Mori chuckled "GOTCHA!"

"No, no, no!" Haruhi cried out while grabbing her head and mentally slapping herself for almost spilling her secret out, "Now I'm worried you all interpreted it the wrong way and I bet you three idiots did and now I am worried you'll tell kyouya and now kyouya will look at me funny and now I am not acting myself because I am full and more than likely half drunk because I am getting a blistering head-ache."

"Calm down Haruhi!" Tamaki cried out as he hugged the sweating girl, "Just say Hakuna Matata."

"Huh?"

"Hakuna Matata" the three hosts repeated again while another familiar Disney tune ™ started to play and the whole classroom quieted down and moved the desks.

"Not again!"

"Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase" Tamaki sang.

"Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze…." Karou chimed in with Tamaki.

"It means no worries, For the rest of your days, It's our problem-free philosophy, Hakuna Matata!"

"Did you all just make that up?"

"Nope" Mori hummed, "They didn't. They actually say that at times."

"Hakuna Matata?"

"Yes Haruhi, Hakuna Matata."

Just then the classroom lights dimmed and multi-colored lights appeared out of no where and directed themselves onto Tamaki, who was standing on the teacher's desk while the crazed fangirls crowded around.

"When I was a young rich boy…"

"WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG RICH BOY!!!!!!!" the girls chimed after him. "He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal, He could clear the foyer after ev'ry meal."

"I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned, And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind!!!"

"B.O?" Haruhi asked

"Nope, too much cologne. And, oh, the shame!!"

"He was ashamed!" the girls chimed again.

"Thought-a changin' my name"

"Oh, what's in a name?"

"And I got downhearted…"

"How did you feel?"

"Oh my god, Tamaki and his singing chorus of fang irls, can this get any weirder?"

"Ev'rytime that I..."

"Tamaki!!!!" Mori and Karou shouted, "Not in front of the kids!"

"Oh sorry. Shall we continue Mori and Karou?"

"We shall!"

"Ah" Mori added.

"Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase, Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze……." They all sang in unison as the classroom danced around.

"Take it away Haruhi!"

Haruhi sighed. "Well….oh what the hell. Can't get any weirder than this, It means no worries For the rest of your days It's our problem-free philosophy….."

"Hakuna Matata!" The whole classroom shouted as Tamaki, Karou, and Mori posed and ended the song.

**A/N: hope you all liked this. Song doesn't belong to me and neither does ouran. Comments, suggestions, flames, etc are welcomed. **


	3. Chapter 3

Haruhi slumped deep into her chair tiredly as the teacher lazily called out a check list. It was hot and it was at least twenty-five kids in the cramped room and this was only the first part of the detention schedule. Haruhi wasn't about to report to the punishment but she had never done anything out of line and knew if the other host, especially kyouya, found out they would hold it over head forever. Unbuttoning a few buttons' from her blouse, enough to show her neck, and wiping her forehead from sweat haruhi closed her eyes and tried to keep cool by keeping still.

"Haruhi, why are you in here?"

Haruhi opened one of her eyes to see her friend Renge standing right in front of her, holding a pink folder and some books. Apparently she was also late for her class from feeding her so much damn food and got detention too. Well, at least she won't be alone.

"Renge?"

"Hey, what you doing in here?"

"I got detention because I was late for class."

"That's so unlike you Haruhi!"

Haruhi sighed and sat up in her seat. "I was late because you all fed me."

"No one forced you to stay Haurhi renge replied while taking a seat next to her sweating friend, "How you holding up?"

"Nothing really happened. I just got here about five minutes ago."

"Well" Renge paused and took out a portable fan, making Haruhi cringe in slight envy, "I am only here for a period or two. How long you in for?"

"Three periods. So basically I won't be out until lunch."

"Sorry Haruhi" The brown haired girl sighed, "Well, at least you ate."

"True."

"But you know, I would trade places with you right now."

"Why?"

"Because" she abruptly paused and turned off the fan, "I have math and history next periods and I would rather stay here and do nothing."

"But the teacher passed out packets when we first entered the room."

"Haruhi, did you even look around?" Renge said while pointing around the room, trying to make a point, "Kids are playing, throwing paper balls, sipping tea, and sleeping."

"But the teacher is…." Haruhi stopped and saw that the teacher was sleep and snoring, "Never mind."

"Point made. I would so want to be like you."

"But it's hot in here."

"DUH" renge exclaimed, "One, I have my fan, two, who cares. If I can miss two of my hardest classes, i would be happy to withstand the heat for a few hours."

"You have a point."

"Of course I do" Renge smiled and stood up while a familiar Caribbean Disney ™ tune started to play, "I always make my point."

"You going to sing again?"

"Now I'm the queen of the swingers Oh, the jungle VIP…."

"Yup, she's singing." Haruhi sighed as the students started to move the desk out of the way and begin to dance.

"I've reached the top and had to stop And that's what botherin' me. I wanna be a man, mancub And stroll right into town And be just like the other men I'm tired of monkeyin' around!"

" Oh, oobee doo I wanna be like you.."

"They wanna be like you Haruhi!!!"

"I wanna walk like you Talk like you, too"

"It's because your so damn smart girl!"

"You'll see it's true An ape like me Can learn to be humen too!"

"You're an Ape Renge?" Haruhi asked with a puzzled look on her face, confused from what Renge had sang.

"Oh it's a figure of speech woman, LIVE A LITTLE!!" she shouted as she pulled Haruhi and herself onto the desk.

"Gee, cousin Renge, You're doin' real good" Sang/yelled one of the dancing girls.

"Thanks cousin Kima!" she gave her cousin a high-five

" Now here's your part of the deal, cuz Lay the secret on me of man's red fire"

"But I don't know how to make fire Renge?"

"I bet my girl Haruhi knows how!" Renge smiled as she directed her attention back over to her friend.

"I dunno either Renge." Haruhi said with sarcasm in her voice.

"Now don't try to kid me, mancub, I made a deal with you…"

"A deal?"

"What I desire is man's red fire, To make my dream come true"

"Your dream? What dream?"

"Give me the secret, mancub, Clue me what to do…"

Haruhi sighed and shook her head at the dancing and singing renge.

"If you weren't so rich you'll know how to make fire."

"Give me the power of man's red flower, So I can be like you!"

"Oh brother!"

Renge then jumped off the desk, taking Haruhi's hand and making her reluctantly jump with her, and headed to the middle of the floor with the dancing and singing students.

"Come on Haruhi, dacnce with me!"

"But I don't know the steps, nor do I want to dance."

"DANCE WOMAN!!!"

"Alright!"

"You! I wanna be like you I wanna talk like you…."

"Like you!" The students chimed in with the singing Renge and the dancing Haruhi, who surprisingly knew the steps.

"Walk like you, too, You'll see it's true…."

"It's true!"

"Someone like me, Can learn to be….."

"CAN BE…..!"

"Like someone like me, Can learn to be…."

"Learn to be!" The students chimed in again, this time with Haruhi.

"Like someone like you, Can learn to be….."

"CAN LEARN TO BE!"

"Like someone like me!!" Renge held and posed, with the student's and haruhi soon ending after.

"HEY!!!!!" the teacher shouted, making the kids get back into their seats quickly, "GET TO WORK!"

**Princessladyprincessladyprincessladyprincesslady **

"Kyouya, you look very nice today."

"Thank you Kimi."

"You know" she smiled and began to play with the boy's glasses, "Your glasses make you look smart."

"Are you insinuating that I am not intelligent?"

"No, I am just saying they make your smartness…pop."

"Kimi" he pushed up his glasses and continued on typing on his lap top, not once looking up to face the girl, "Thank you for your compliment, but I have to say it is quite sad your compliments are a disgrace."

"Excuse me?"

"You sound very incapable of acquiring anymore knowledge of a first grader. Terribly sorry for telling you such a rude comment, but your so called compliment on my intelligence was not a good one."

"Kyouya! I'm trying to flirt with you and that's the best you can do to me?"

Kyouya smirked and directed his gaze to the girls astonished one.

"Pardon my rudeness then, but I am not interested."

Kimi looked down and began to let her hidden tears flow down her flushed cheeks. "It's someone else huh?"

"Yes." Kyouya replied nonchalantly and kept typing on his lap-top." But it is plenty of well-bodied young men here, as well capable of being a suitor as I."

"Really?" She asked suddenly piping up.

"I do believe so. You're attractive and smart, why wouldn't you be able to get another suitor?"

"You know something?" she started while wiping away tears, "You are so right. Thank you."

"Your welcome."

"Now" she stood up and got in front of kyouya, "I THINK I HAVE A PAIR OF TWINS TO GO SEE."

"Have fun then"

Kimi grinned and kissed kyouya's cheek, making him stop typing and look up "Hope that girl is the one for you."

Kyouya smirked and closed his lap-top. "I believe she is."

As Kimi walked away, Tamaki, Mori, Hunny, and the twins all come over by him and sat next to him. Seeing that he was now staring out of the nearby window, they knew he was day dreaming and knew it was about Haruhi. He usually did this when he was day dreaming about haruhi, and accidentally found out when he blurted it out out of frustration for Tamaki's incompetence.

"Hey kyouya, what you doing?"

"Nothing" he pushed his glasses up slightly and reopened his lap-top, "Why do you ask?"

"You were staring into space." Replied Hunny as he hugged onto his Usa-chan.

"It's nothing."

"It's nothing huh? Well is that nothing Haruhi?"

Kyouya gave a nervous cough and began to type on the computer once more."Don't you all have class?"

"It's lunch time." Hikaru replied slyly while smirking.

"Don't you have fifth period lunch?"

"Ever heard of ditching?"

Kyouya sighed. "What do you all want?"

"We want you to man up and tell haruhi how you feel."

"Ummm" kyouya coughed once more, "Excuse me?"

Mori, Hunny, Tamki, and the twins all looked at each other and all lined up, in army style, an infamous Disney ™ tune started to play.

"What are you idiots….."

"Let's get down to business - to defeat the Huns. Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?"

"The huns?"

"He means your emotions Kyoua-chan!" Hunny piped.

"You're the saddest bunch I've ever met, But you can bet before we're through, Mister, I'll make a man out of you!"

"A man out of me?"

"SHUT UP MAGGOT!!!" karou yelled in kyouya's face, causing him to take out his cloth and wipe his glasses.

"You spitting in my face? Not a good thing."

"Tranquil as a forest, But on fire within…" Tamaki and Mori sang.

"Once you find your center, You are sure to win…." Hunny and the twins chimed in after.

"What the hell are you all talking about?"

"You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot, and you haven't got a clue Somehow I'll make a man out of you!" the five sang in unison as kyouya shook his head at their Stupidity.

"I'm never gonna catch my breath!" Yelled one of the students

"Say goodbye to those who knew me" sang another

"Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym"

"This guy's got 'em scared to death" a few hushed

"Hope he doesn't see right through me!"

"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!" the whole lunch room sang in unison.

"Dear god, is this a disgrace or am I just losing my mind?" Kyouya sighed as he shifted in his seat, reluctantly watching the performance.

"Be a man, we must be swift as the coursing river. Be a man, with all the force of a great typhoon, Be a man, with all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!"

"Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive!" Hunny squealed.

"Heed my every order and you might survive!" Tamaki sang/ countered as he jumped onto the lunchroom table as the fan girls screamed.

"You're unsuited for the rage of war, So pack up, go home you're through……." The twins sang

"How could I make a man out of you?"

"YA!!!!!!!!"

**A/N: Hope you all like. None of the songs belong to me at all and neither does the show. In case few don't know, the movies so far are: ****Lion king ****Jungle book ****Beauty and the beast and Mulan ****More to come. **


	4. Chapter 4

"Finally" Haruhi sighed as she walked down the hallway leisurely, "out of detention and away from Renge and her annoying songs, that are quite catchy."

She took in a deep breath and exhaled, feeling relieved that she had survived three hours of detention, doing nothing but pointless word packets and sitting, hearing the latest gossip that didn't really interest her much.

Running her hand through her now boisterous hair, due to her severe sweating, haruhi quietly walked down the hallway and onward to the cafeteria, not even noticing a few people behind her.

"Hey haruhi!!!!"

Haruhi screamed and jumped. "Kimi, Kami?"

"Hi" the two girls said in unison.

"Don't sneak up on me. It startled me a bit."

"Sorry. So where you headed?"

"Lunch, why?"

"Just asking" Kami smiled.

"Okay then."

_They're even weirder than hikaru and karou. _

"So haru-chan" Kimi grinned and began to walk backwards in front of haruhi, "How was detention?"

"It was alright. I t was just a little… how did you two know I had detention?"

"Renge." They replied in unison, "She told us."

"Why?"

"Because" they smiled and switched places with each other, so now Kimi was walking besides haruhi and Kami was walking in front, "We are working for her."

"As?"

"Spies."

"Why?"

Kami and Kimi grinned. "You sure do ask a lot of questions."

"Apologies then." Haruhi bowed, "But one last question."

"Shoot." Kimi said.

"Are you all spying on me?" Haruhi stopped in her tracks and faced both girls.

"Not really. Just part of the plan."

"What plan?" Haruhi asked, suddenly getting interested in the conversation.

Kami nudged her sister in the elbow and shot her an evil glance, signaling her to keep quiet now.

"Never mind. I already said too much."

Haruhi shrugged and began to walk again, this time a bit faster.

"Why you leaving so fast haruhi?" Kami asked while catching up to the power-walking girl, "Weren't we having a good conversation?"

"I guess you can call it that."

_More like a creepy one_

"So why you leaving so fast?"

"Lunch." She replied quickly, trying to avoid another question from the girls.

"But…don't you want to stay and talk to us more Haruhi?" Kimi said slyly as she flashed her a devilish grin.

"Umm….no thank you." Haruhi stuttered and walked even faster.

The girls smiled at one another and laughed lightly at the uneasy commoner.

"But all we are doing is following orders."

"That's nice."

"And you're making it difficult."

Haruhi stopped and faced both girls. "What do you mean?"

They both smiled. "Say it."

"Say what?"

"Say you love him."

"Excuse me!" Haruhi choked out, "Not this mess again!"

"Just say it then and we'll leave you alone."

_I find that hard to believe. _

"Say I love….who?"

"Kyouya. You know you do."

"I…..don't. And why would I tell you? I've only met you a few days ago."

"Just do it and we'll go away."

"No, and I don't believe you."

Both girls shrugged and each took one of haruhi's hands, placing an object in each one. Looking down, haruhi saw it was a few possessions of kyouya's and couldn't help but blush. The first item was a gold pen with the inscribed initial's K.O. on the back of it, signaling haruhi it was defiantly kyouya's and the second was a locket, half opened, which had a picture of him and her at the local carnival a few months back. Remembering the day Tamaki had woken up kyouya way to early and paid dearly for it was priceless; and it also brought back a few memories of her own with kyouya. That day was the first time she ever saw kyouya blush. The first day she ever saw him eat cotton candy. The first day she ever say him act…like a normal teenage boy and not like an adult that had the weight of the world on his shoulders. That day was one she'll never forget.

"Where" she paused and took another glance at the locket's picture, "did you two get this?"

"Does it matter?" Kami sighed ass he took the objects away from Haruhi's hands.

"Actually, it does."

"Tell you what" Kimi grinned as she took out her ipod and it's portable sound system and hooked it up, so now the long corridor was filled with yet another familiar Disney ™ tune that haruhi, off the back, recognized, "You tell us you love him and we'll tell you where we got this from."

"But…"

"Tell us."

Haruhi sighed at the now dancing girls and mentally slapped herself for being gullible, yet again, today and took her stance, beginning to sing.

"If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that.."

"That's it Haru-chan"

"Yea" Kami chimed, "Keep singing. We'll back you up."

"No man is worth the aggravation, That's ancient history, been there, done that!"

"Who'd'ya think you're kiddin', He's the Earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden, Honey, we can see right through you, Girl, ya can't conceal it, We know how ya feel and Who you're thinking of!"

"No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no"

"You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh-oh"

"It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in love"

"Keep going Haruhi" Kami sang while dancing with her sister.

"Yea, your getting there."

Haruhi sighed. "I thought my heart had learned its lesson, It feels so good when you start out……"

"Start out!"

"My head is screaming get a grip, girl, Unless you're dying to cry your heart out Oh!"

"You keep on denying, Who you are and how you're feeling, Baby, we're not buying, Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling Face it like a grown-up When ya gonna own up, That ya got, got, got it bad"

"No chance, now way, I won't say it, no, no"

"Give up, give in….."

"Check the grin you're in love" Kimi chimed in after her sister.

"This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love……" Haruhi sang as the lights in the hallway suddenly tuend purple and blue.

"You're doin flips read our lips, You're in love"

"You're way off base, I won't say it"

"Say it Haruhi!" The girls sang in unison as they brought out the elegant paper fans and began to dance with those.

"Get off my case, I won't say it"

"Girl, don't be proud, It's O.K. you're in love…."

"Oh" Haruhi held as she closed her eyes, "At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love"

"Sha la la la la…la….ahhhhhhhhhhhh."

With the light's turning back to their original state and the music shutting off, the girls smiled at each other and then at Haruhi.

"You did well."

"And too keep up our end of the bargain, kyouya had these."

"You stole them?"

"Only the pen." Kami said slyly, "But the locket….was for you."

"For….me?" Haruhi said while blushing slightly.

"Yup" Kimi tossed her the locket, "For you.

**A/N: well here is my fourth chapter. Hope you all like. Sneak peak is little mermaid's song, btw. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed it. Flames, comments, suggestions are welcome. Thanks to all my reviewers. **


	5. Chapter 5

Kyouya typed callously onto his laptop as his dark eyes never broke the silent bond between him and the luminescent glow of the screen. He was thinking about the Host clubs profits but also couldn't allow himself to keep his mind from straying away from the fact that he was publicly humiliated in front of his peers.

He scolded himself for not catching on to Tamaki's ridiculous plan before hand by not catching the hints of him saying "BE A MAN!" and "MULAN!" to him. To be perfectly honest, he didn't know if Tamaki was hinting something about the infamous Chinese Disney film or if he had developed some kind of mental disorder. Either way, Kyouya brushed it off and kept working. Pausing and looking at his Platinum Louis Vutton watch, Kyouya saw that it was almost time for study hall to come to a closure and decided to begin gathering his things.

Turning off his laptop and finally putting his notebooks away, Kyouya silently set his bag aside and took out his ZUNE ™ and began to scroll through his song list. Most of the songs downloaded were no ones other than Tamaki's doing for Kyouya didn't like bubble gum sugar pop songs and whatever crap Tamaki had put on. He was more into Linkin Park and Eveanesance. Sighing slightly and finally finding a decent song to listen too, Kyouya grabbed the head phones of his device and positioned them in his ears as the songs beat began to race throughout his ears.

_Move left, move right do yo dance on the floor  
We don't superman no more we just spiderman that hoe  
Now watch me (YOU!) _

_Crank that spiderman (YOU!)  
Crank that spiderman (YOU!)  
Crank that spiderman (YOU!)  
Crank that spiderman _

Kyouya began to silently ponder on what he was listening to and why he would waste his time in listening to such music. He didn't even know what spiderman that hoe meant.

_Now we siege off in that hoe  
And yeah I brought that squad too  
Crank that spiderman shootin webs its like who saw to  
Yeah gonna be alarm  
Im bout to crank my band fo  
Bitch im fly wit it  
What I need the superman for _

This also brought another question to his head to Why Tamaki was listening to such music anyway. But then he remembered it was Tamaki. He lsitened to almost everything.

_Spiderman bands on and step up in the place  
I don't skeet it on that hoe I shoot the web all on her face  
Er'body see me youll cuz im a rider fucken for the weak ass villans  
Tell them hoes to foul up _

It annoyed him that he couldn't figure out the answer to such an easy question, so the youngest Ootori decided to take mental notes. He noted on what the song could possibly mean and why would someone want to "Spider man" a hoe. His thoughts were soon interupted by his blonde friend snatching out the headphones from his ears and listening to the song himself.

"Tamaki…."

"YOU LIKE THIS SONG TOO!" He said as his eyes sprakled.

"No."

"Why you listening to it?"

"Everything else was shit."

Tamaki gasped and brought on the dramatics. "KYOUYA! SUCH LANGUAGE!"

"Tamaki" Kyouya sighed as he got his things and prepared to go, "What are you doing?"

"Came to get you!" he set the headphones down, "Almost time for the club."

"I am aware of that."

"Then let's walk together."

"I have to make a stop first."

Tamaki pouted. "To where?"

"Computer class. Why?"

"BECAUSE! I WANTED TO WALK WITH YOU! OU ARE RUING EVERYTHING!"

Kyouya pushed up his glasses and lookeda t his watch again, silently wishing it would hurry up. "Tamaki please stop the dramatics."

"But I am not being dramatic. You are runing everything."

Kyouya rollled his eyes. "How exactly am I ruing everything?"

Tamaki flashed his friend a huge smile as yet another familiar disney ™ tun began to play while the students in the classroom began to take their places.

"You won't kiss her."

"Escuse me?"

"Kiss the girl."

Kyouya gave a nervous cough and looked at his friend. "Kiss what girl exactly?"

Tamaki smirked as he made his way to the middle of the floor.

"_There you see her, Sitting there across the way, She don't got a lot to say, But there's something about her……" _

_"_Not another song." "_And you don't know why But you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl." _

_"_Tamaki, I desire to kiss no one."

"Sure you don't kyoyua!" Tamaki winked as he began to sing again, "Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do Possible she wants you too. There is one way to ask her It don't take a word Not a single word Go on and kiss the girl."

"Tamaki, you are being absurd."

"He says I am being absurd!" Tamaki twirled around and shouted to the room full of students, "This is absurd Kouya……..SING WITH ME NOW!"

"Sha la la la la la My oh my Look like the boy too shy Ain't gonna kiss the girl….."

Kyouya slumped back into his seat as he watched his friend and his peers continue singing and dancing.

"Sha la la la la la Ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame? Too bad, he gonna miss the girl."

"I am not kissing no female Tamaki!"

"It's not just any girl Kyouya!" Tamaki said as he and three other students slid over to him on their knees, "It's Haruhi!"

"Haruhi and I are just…"

"Oh shut up and say you like her already!"

"No Tamaki." Kyouya said sternly, "Now stop this nonsense."

"Now's your moment Floating in a blue lagoon Boy you better do it soon. No time will be better…."

"Tamaki….."

"She don't say a word And she won't say a word Until you kiss the girl….."

"Tamaki….."

"CLASS….TAKE IT AWAY!!!"

Doing as told, the entire classroom got into a figure eight formation and began to sing the chorus.

"Sha la la la la la Don't be scared You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl Sha la la la la la Don't stop now Don't try to hide it how You want to kiss the girl…."

"TAMAKI!!!" Kyouya shouted as he pulled the boy by his collar to face him, "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"NOT TILL YOU ADMIT! KEEP SINGING!"

"Sha la la la la la Float along And listen to the song The song say kiss the girl…."

"Saying it now?" the blonde sang to his friend.

"No."

"Sha la la la la The music play Do what the music say You got to kiss the girl….."

"Now?"

"HELL…NO."

"You've got to kiss the girl……" the class chorused.

"Now?"

"No" kyouya said once more.

"You wanna kiss the girl.."

"Now" Tamaki asked again.

"No."

"You've gotta kiss the girl…."

"Now?"

"……..No."

"Go on and kiss the girl."

"Now?"

"Will you and your choir shut up?"

"Yes."

Kyouya sighed as the bell rang while looking around the classroom to see dozens of anxious faces.

Rolling his eyes and retrieving his things, Kyouya got up from his desk and addressed the class.

"I'll kiss her...at the club."

A/n: Sorry for the wait. School is a bitch. Updates soon.


	6. Chapter 6

"Dammit! How could he?"

"He technically isn't yours Asami." 

The raven haired beauty flashed an evil smile towards her sister as she picked up a forgotten cup of tea that rested on top of coffee table near by. "Yes he is." She smirked. Her sister cringed. "I get whatever I want."

The blonde rolled her eyes and picked up her cup of tea also. She hated when her sister got cocky. "But men aren't the same as the things you buy in the store."

"Why the hell Not Usami?" she retorted back with spite; hurt her sister didn't realize the words that came out her mouth.

"Because they are people and Kyouya Ootori is just as important as any other person."

"Boo hoo" Asami rolled her eyes and sat her cup down on the coffee table again, "Kyouya is a business man. I am sure he understands the concept of a good deal."

"You act as if you are purchasing him!" the younger sister yelled aloud, bolting up from her seat, "Kyouya is a person not an item. If he loves Haruhi then let hi love her!"

Asami rolled her eyes as she slowly made her way to her book bag in a nearby corner. Taking out her Boom box, the raven haired female quietly walked back over to her sister and set it before her.

"What's that for?"

Asami rolled her eyes as she silently pressed play on the contraption and let a familiar tune play.

"I am showing you I how do things little sister" She winked and took center floor of the abandoned room they were in; allowing lights to illuminate her form

"I admit that in the past I've been a nasty  
They weren't kidding when they called me kinda strange  
But you'll find that nowadays  
I've mended all my ways……"

"Oh god!"

"Repented, seen the light, and made a change  
And I fortunately know a little secret  
It's a talent that I always have possessed……."

"Asami this isn't the same!" 

"And dear lady, please don't laugh  
I use it on behalf  
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)……."

"Asami please don't use that scenario to make a point about this!"

"Why not lil sis?" she asked with a smile.

"Because……because……"

Asami just smirked as she tossed her sister a spare mic and winked. "You know the chorus."

"But….."

"And dear lady, please don't laugh  
I use it on behalf  
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)………"

Usami sighed. "Poor unfortunate souls  
In pain  
In need  
This one longing to be thinner  
That one wants to get the girl  
And do I help them?  
Yes, indeed!"

"Those poor unfortunate souls  
So sad  
So true  
They come flocking to me crying  
"Will you help us, pretty please?"  
And I help them!  
Yes I do!"

"But sis….how does this help you get Kyouya?"

"I'll help Haruhi realize how much of a poor unfortunate soul she is and how only I can help her."

"How?"

"Today at the club. She'll realize how much help she'll need in order to get kyouya. I'll show her only I can help but in reality…." She giggled evilly, "it is a plan to get him all to myself."

"But….."

Cutting her sister off, Asami continued. "The men up there don't like a lot of blabber  
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!  
Yes on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word  
And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?..."

"They're not all that impressed with conversation  
True gentlemen avoid it when they can  
But they dote and swoon and fawn  
On ladies who withdrawn  
It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man….."

"Your getting it sis!" Asami yelped out as she skidded on her knees towards her sister.

"Well…." She blushed and awaited the chorus beat, "You know I love Jonas brothers."

Asami smirked and began to sing with her sister.

"Poor unfortunate souls  
Go ahead!  
Make your choice!  
I'm a very busy person and I haven't got all day  
It won't cost much  
Just your voice!"

"Those poor unfortunate souls  
So sad  
So true  
If you wanna cross the bridge, my sweet  
You've got the pay the toll  
Take a gulp  
Take a breath  
Go ahead  
Sign the scroll……." Usami added.

"Nick and Kevin  
Now I've got her, boys  
The boss is on a roll  
You poor unfortunate souls…"

"Wait!" the blonde screeched out above the music's beat, "Who is Nick and Kevin?"

"JUST SING THE DAMN SONG!"

"In pain  
In need  
This one longing to be thinner  
That one wants to get the girl  
And do I help them?  
Yes, indeed!...

"Those poor unfortunate souls  
So sad  
So true  
They come flocking to me crying  
"Will you help us, pretty please?"  
And I help them!  
Yes I do!..."

"Those poor…."

"Unfortunate….."

"SOULS!" The sisters sang together as the song ended; leaving the room filled with evil laughter from the raven haired Asami.


	7. Chapter 7

Haruhi grasped the golden colored locket tighter as she kept walking down the never ending hallway, on her way to the third music room. Thanks to the beautiful and rather expensive Burberry watch Tamaki had given her, Haruhi realized that she had spent too much time in the lunchroom and was going to be late for the club. It wasn't intentional though, just an accident. The brunette was too busy wondering why Kyouya had bought her such an expensive item if they were only friends. It wasn't her birthday and Christmas was far from now, so it boggled her mind on why the young Ootori would purchase such a luxury item when it wasn't needed.

Looking at her watch again, and seeing that another five minutes have passed because of her worthless thinking, Haruhi silently swore as she began to race down the corridor and onto the club.

**Princessladyprincessladyprincesslady**

"READY KYO!"

The young Ootori jumped slightly as he turned around and glared at his idiotic friend maliciously. "Would you stop that!?"

"Sorry!" the blonde French boy replied, "But I need to know if you're ready?"

"Yes Tamaki, I am. You should just focus on getting yourself ready. This Arabian night thing was your idea."

"I know!" he squealed, "But I also have another use for it."

"Oh?" Kyouya asked inquiringly for he didn't expect Tamaki to have another use for this ridiculous theme other than to annoy him and entice customers, "And what might that be?"

"To get you and Haruhi…." He suddenly brought his voce down to a whisper, "Together."

Kyouya sighed and pushed up his designer frames. "What?"

"Isn't it genius!?"

"Not at all." Was the young Ootori's reply as he began to make his way towards his plush pillow seat. "In fact, it's highly unintelligent."

"Oh come on Kyouya! You know you want to tell Haruhi how you feel."

"Tamaki" the boy said lowly while taking out his lap top from under the pillow next to him, "Allow me to work in peace. Go annoy the twins."

"They aren't here yet! I told them be a little late."

"Well…" he paused and turned on the computer, "Entertain your self."

"I am!" he squealed again as he plopped down in front of the raven haired teen, "By playing with you!"

"One of us is playing Tamaki."

"Well if you put it that way then it sounds bad!"

"Can't help that." The boy replied as he began to type away on his laptop keyboard.

The blonde just grinned like a Cheshire cat as excused himself from his friend and disappeared into the back room of the host club.

Moments passed and Kyouya stopped typing. He carefully began to listen out for any signs of his friend but got none. He immediately knew Tamaki was up to something for the blonde couldn't stay quiet for more than ten minutes if his life depended on it. Listening again, the raven haired boy got nothing as a response and decided it was best to go check to see what the blonde was doing.

Closing his laptop carefully, the young Ootori carefully removed himself from the plush array of pillows he was sitting on and made his way to the back room; being cautious not to get caught in the orange and red colorful fabrics hanging from the ceiling looping around like crazy.

Once in the back room, Kyouya was faced with the scenery of an Arabian style bedroom and the, now, genefied Tamaki.

"Kyouya!" Tamaki yelped out, "I was waiting for you to see what I was up too."

"What the hell?"

"Oh have some fun Kyo!" the blonde relied as he grabbed his friends hand and swung him into a mound full of pillows and silken sheets, "This room is exclusively made for you and Haruhi!"

"What!?"

"Yup!" he smiled as he took out a stereo system and allowed a familiar tune to play. "This is the perfect ambiance for Romance! Aren't you glad you have a friend like me?"

"Tamaki!"

"Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves

Scheherezad-ie had a thousand tales…"

"If you don't shut up with that singing!"

"But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves

You got a brand of magic never fails…"

"Tamaki!"

"You got some power in your corner now

Some heavy ammunition in your camp

You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how

See all you gotta do is rub that lamp."

"Why do you insist on singing Disney classics!?"

"It's fun and makes you confess your love!"

"Tamaki…"

"And I'll say

Mister Aladdin, sir

What will your pleasure be?

Let me take your order

Jot it down

You ain't never had a friend like me

No no no."

"Sometimes I wonder why we are even friends."

"Don't be like that Kyouya" Tamaki smiled as he took a microphone from god knows where, "You are privileged."

"Privleged?"

"Life is your restaurant

And I'm your maitre d'

C'mon whisper what it is you want

You ain't never had a friend like me…"

"Life is my what?"

"Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service

You're the boss

The king, the shah…"

"Really now?"

"Say what you wish

It's yours! True dish

How about a little more Baklava?"

"Never tried bakalava Tamaki." The raven haired boy countered as he tried to figure out where all the dancing half naked females came from.

"JUST GO ALONG WITH THE SONG!"

"Tamaki.." Kyouya paused as he was ambushed by two Arabian women, all shaking their breast in his face, "What are you trying to do?"

"Have some of column "A"

Try all of column "B"

I'm in the mood to help you dude

You ain't never had a friend like me."

"Tamaki?"

"Can your friends do this?" he asked while spinning around on his toes, "Do your friends do that?"

"I believe you are the only friend who does do that."

"Do your friends pull this out their little hat? Can your friends go, poof? Well, looky here…"

"Tamaki!"

"Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip

And then make the sucker disappear?

So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed

I'm here to answer all your midday prayers

You got me bona fide, certified

You got a genie for your charge d'affaires…"

"If you don't get this half naked woman off my lap!"

"I got a powerful urge to help you out

So what-cha wish? I really wanna know

You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt

Well, all you gotta do is rub like so - and oh"

"Here is a wish….. get this girl off me!"

Tamaki laughed. "She's pretty!"

"SO FUCKING WHAT!"

"You know you want her."

"I DON'T KNOW HER!"

"But you want Haruhi!?"

"……..Tamaki."

"Do you?"

"Tamaki."

"Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three

I'm on the job, you big nabob…"

"Nabob?"

"Aren't you rich?"

"Yes."

"THEN YOU ARE A NABOB! You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend…"

"Tamaki.." kyouya sighed as he witnessed a display of exotic animals fill the room as the female removed herself of the boy's lap, "What the…"

"You ain't never.."

"Tamaki…."

"had a friend like me…"

"Tamaki…."

"You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!"

With the song ending with a finishing touch of colorful fireworks going off above the ceiling, Kyouya couldn't help but to agree with Tamaki that he had never had a friend like him.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n: Thanks for the kind reviews. Made my day! Here is the next chappie, a bit short, but still full of the fun. Enjoy.**

"Want to go another round?"

"Does it..._hiccup…_look like it?"

The auburn haired teen just snickered as he stared at his live reflection. "You chose to play quarters. Not my fault you can't hold down your liquor."

"Well…._hiccup…._sorry for me not being able to hold down gallons of vodka like my dear brother." Karou replied with a hint of cynicism hidden in the mists of his voice.

Hikaru just grinned playfully as he planted a slight kiss on his brother's forehead and reached out for his forgotten glass of alcohol. "Just rest," he paused and looked at his watch, "We have a half hour till the club; Plenty of time for you to attempt to sober up."

Karou hiccupped again. "Do you at least have any bread?"

Hikaru shook his head no as he downed yet another glass of liquor. "None at all."

"Why not?" the teen abruptly stopped and hiccupped again, "you just came from lunch…again."

Hikaru shrugged as he began to pour yet another glass of vodka. "Didn't think I would need to go grocery shopping."

Karou rolled his eyes while allowing another hiccup to escape the confinement of his mouth. He just didn't see why his brother had the need to be a sardonic asshole "This is the last time I drink with you, just shows you drink when mom and dad aren't home."

"That's not all I do." The twin replied deviously as he shot his brother a wink; causing the younger twin to blush and turn away with embarrassment.

"Someone might here you speak that way…_hiccup…._about us."

Hikaru smirked as he got painfully close to his younger twins face; allowing his hot breath to linger along the thin lines of hair adorning his precious brother's porcelain colored neck. "Let them. You are the one who is the loud one."

_HICCUP!!!_

With a slight snicker at his brother's inane actions, Hikaru went back to pouring himself another glass of liquor as two familiar twins rushed over.

"Hika-kun, Kao-kun, Urgent news!" they both shouted at once.

"Tamaki finally jumped off a cliff?"

"No silly!" Kami shouted, "Asami is planning to steal kyouya."

"Asami who?"

"The mean girl who is infatuated with Kyouya-kun."

"I say…._hiccup…_we have to do something."

Hikaru shrugged as he downed his glass of liquor. "Asami will get rejected eventually. It'll be funny when she does."

"But she is planning to convince Haruhi that she needs her help to win Kyouya."

Hikaru chuckled. "Haruhi is far from naïve."

"We know..." Kimi paused and took abreath, "But you know how enticing Asami's words can be. She is one of the best speakers in all of ouran."

Karou hiccupped again. "That is true hikaru; Asami does have…_hiccup…_a way with words."

The elder auburn teen shrugged slightly as he reached for the bottle of liquor once more. "So? Haruhi isn't stupid."

"But you know the saying Hikaru-kun."

"Which would be?" He asked with annoyance hidden with his voice.

"People do crazy things……"

"……when they're in love."

With another glass of liquor being swallowed by the expert Hitachiin, a slight chuckle of amusement surpassed his lips. "Wait a second…" he paused to snicker again, regaining his breath along with his composure once finished, "you are trying to convince me that after being accepted to a prestigious high school, on scholarship may I remind you, and having some of the best grades in the school, that Haruhi would let all her education and common sense be thrown to the wind all because she likes Kyouya?"

"Well…."

"And to make it worse..."he continued, cutting off the now flustered Kami, "Over a line you two memorized from Hercules?"

"That's EXACTLY what she's saying!" Kimi shot at the eldest Hitachiin, defending her sister.

Hikaru chuckled and exchanged looks with Karou, who too had a look of amusement plastered on his face. The exact reason why was unknown to the elder twin. It could have been because he was half drunk and completely in a daze or he thought the two females were funny. Either way, it didn't matter. Their logic was off and he was right. Therefore, the discussion was over.

"I must say…" he abruptly stopped and reached for the bottle of liquor again "You made my day."

"What's so funny?"

"You think Haruhi is retarded."

"DO NOT!" The twins shot back in unison, trying to plead their case before the veteran twins, "We are just saying her judgement may be off because she likes Kyouya."

"Well, I've known Haruhi for some time now and known she had a thing for Kyouya for…" he pasued and began to count on his lean fingers, "Two months. Haruhi is far from slow and far from naïve. She wouldn't let her crush on Kyouya get the best of her."

"But…..!"

"SHHHH!" Karou interjected for his brother, finally having enough of the useless talking "Hikaru is right after all…_hiccup……_Asami may have a way with words but Haruhi isn't naïve."

"But…."

"SHHH!"

Getting the hint that the discussion was over and even if they tried, the two girls couldn't get another word in, even if they wanted too; Kimi and Kami turned on their heels and headed towards the exit; leaving the veteran twins to their game of quarters. They decided that if the Hitachiin twins weren't going to help try and resolve the situation, they'd just have to do it their selves. One way or another.

**PRINCESSLADYPRINCESSLADYPRINCESSLADY**

_Please don't be late….please…don't be late!!!!_

"Haruhi!!!!"

Stopping from her never-ending jog down the long corridor, the young brunette quickly came to a halt as she briskly turned around to face the owner of said voice calling her.

"Hai, Asami-san, Sorry but I must go. Club and debt. One of those things is a priority to me and needs to be paid off soon; so if you'd please exuse me…"

"I won't take much of your time!" she replied as she jogged a bit to reach the girl, "Just need to ask you a question."

"Well…" she looked at her watch, "I don't know if I have time."

"It concerns….Kyouya." she said as she finally caught up to the girl abd slowly began to catch her breath, "I know you have…..time for that."

"What do you….mean?"

Asami smirked as she regained her composure and slinked her thin arm around the brunettes shoulders. She knew she was getting the young hosts attention and all she needed to do was reel her in.

"You like Kyouya no?"

Haruhi blushed pale pink as she tried to hide her face in embarrassment. "Excuse me?"

"C'mon Haruhi!, everyone knows."

"Everyone?"

Asami nodded as she began to walk further down the hallway; causing haruhi to reluctantly follow. "Even Kyouya."

"Kyouya…..knows?!"

She nodded again. "But you know what he said?"

Haruhi shook her head no; giving the girl the signal to continue on. "He said, he likes you back…."

With hearing that, Haruhi's heart skipped a beat and her movements suddenly ceased. She couldn't believe her ears.

"But…." Asami continued on, giving Haruhi more anxiety, "He said you need to…liven up a bit."

"Excuse me?"

The girl nodded as she began to circle around the young Fijoka like a shark around its prey.

_Hook_

"He said he you are too…..girl next door."

"I am?"

She nodded, "He likes…..the…out going, fun, skank type girls."

"Kyouya?!" Haruhi gasped in disbelief, "He doesn't seem that way…."

"No one is exactly how they are on the outside Haruhi."

_Line_

"So…..he wants me to…look like a prostitute I take it?"

"Not exactly PROSTITUTE just…..a bit more….revealing."

"I don't know Asami-san."

"Don't you want Kyouya?"

"Well…yes I really do…but I also won't down grade myself for his approval."

"But you won't!" she said with a smile while secretly pulling out a microphone, hidden with its own secret speaker system, "Would I _ever _steer you wrong?"

Haruhi thought for a minute then looked back at the girl. She only known Asami for a few weeks now, but was really good at reading personalities. Asami did seem like a trustworthy person.

"I don't think you would Asami-san."

"Good!" she smiled as she pressed the play button on the mic and began to sing a familiar Disney ™ classic, "You know why?"

Haruhi shook her head.

"Because….

You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me…….When the road looks rough ahead  
And you're miles and miles  
From your nice warm bed  
You just remember what your old pal said  
Boy, you've got a friend in me  
Yeah, you've got a friend in me.."

"That's sweet…Asami-san but ….."

"You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me…"

"Thank you Asami-san but I think I must get back to my…"

"If you've got troubles, I've got 'em too  
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you  
We stick together and can see it through  
Cause you've got a friend in me…."

Haruhi giggled. "You all just love to sing today don't you?"

Asami nodded. "You know you know the words Haruhi."

"I do but I am not going to sing."

"Why!?"

She shrugged. "Just…"

"Sing!"

"But…."

"You've got a friend in me…"

"Asami…."

"You've got a friend in me…."

"Asami…"

"You've got a friend in me…"

Haruhi just sighed as she snatched the mic from the girl and continued from where she left off.

"Some other folks might be  
A little bit smarter than I am

Bigger and stronger too…"

"Maybe!" Asami added onto Haruhi, "But none of them will ever love you  
The way I do,it's me and you  
Boy, and as the years go by..."

"Our friendship will never die!"

"That's it Haruhi, keep going!" Asami yelped out, encourging the girl.

"You're gonna see it's our destiny...You've got a friend in me..."

"You've got a friend in me..."

"You've got a friend in me." Asami and Haruhi both chorused together as the songs tune came to an end.

Smiling while turning of the microphone, Asami quickly put it back into her secret compartment and hugged Haruhi tightly. "You did great!"

"Thanks" she smiled, "You are a good friend Asami."

She smirked. "Thanks; now let's get you ready for the club. Kyouya is expecting you."

_Sinker_


	9. Chapter 9

He Gazed at his watch again. Still, no sign of movement from the metal sticks signaling that time has changed ;Thus signaling that the female member of the host club was in fact…LATE. Looking back at the entrance of the room, to see if said tardy person would abruptly come in and pronounce herself on time, no door swung open. No loud 'BANG' of wood hitting the marble walls went ringing through his ears. No "Senpai, wait!" echoed throughout the room as awaiting guests stayed seated promptly. Haruhi was in fact late; and with a tsk of dissatisfaction, the "mother" of the host club quietly opened his notebook and wrote down a few notes.

"Kyouya?"

"Hmm?"

"Where is Haruhi and the twins?"

"Tamaki, I do not keep track of them all the time. They are yound adults and should be treated as such."

"But the club started like…" he paused and looked at his watch, "Five minutes ago. This is not going according to plan!"

"What plan might that be Tamaki?" Kyouya asked immediately regretting he did once the question escaped his lips.

"The plan.." he brought his voice to a whisper, "To get you to kiss Haruhi! If she isn't here….then you can't kiss her."

"That's a problem?" the raven haired boy asked in a monotone voice as he kept writing down the notes in his book.

"YES! IT IS! I WORKED HARD ON THIS PLAN!"

"Really now?" he responded without looking up at his blonde friend, "Good for you Tamaki." He shut his book promptly with a loud 'SNAP', "Gold star?"

"NO gold star!!!! I WANT YOU TO KISS HARUHI?"

"Tamaki…."

"I bet a heffalump or a woozle ate her."

"Excuse…me?"

"A heffalump or woozle. They are mean creatures Kyouya."

Kyouya let out a slight cough as he became perplexed by the half French half japansese boy's theory of why the only female member of the host club might have been late. Not only had he not heard of a heffalump or woozle, but he prayed that Tamaki heard it from somewhere and just didn't make it up. It sounded childish and inane.

"Tamaki…" he cleared his throat, "Did you just make that up?"

He shook his head no erratically as he slipped out a silver colored disk and popped it into a CD player from god knows where. "I got it off POOH!"

"Pooh?"

"Yes! You never heard of a heffalump of woozle?"

Kyouya sighed as he regretted fueling the fire to Tamaki's stupidity. "I don't want to know either."

"Well…." He paused as he turned the knob to the volume of the player up; getting the attention of everyone in the room, "You're going to find out."

"Tamaki.."

"They're black, they're brown  
they're up, they're down  
they're in, they're out  
they're all about….."

"Hell NO!"

"they're far, they're near  
they're gone, they're here  
they're quick and slick  
they're insincere…."

"Tamaki if you sing again.."

"Kyouya…" the blonde laughed as he moved himself to center stage; allowing the seated guests to raise from their seats and get into a line formation, "Live a little."

"I swear Tamaki…if you sing one note.."

"Beware, Beware  
Be a very wary bear…"

"A heffalump or woozle  
is very confuzle…." Chorused a girl and her friend., "a heffalump or woozle's very sly, sly, sly, sly"

"No!"

"They come in ones and twoozles  
but if they so choozles  
before your eyes you'll see them multiply, ply, ply, ply…."

"They're extraordinary, so better bewary…"

"Tamaki…." Kyouya mumbled lowly as he grabbed the boy by his collar and yanked him close to his form, "Shut your chorus up!"

"Live a little kyouya! You wanted to know what a heffalump or woozle was right?"

"No."

"Well…" he smiled as he pulled away from the boy and got back with his chorus of dancing girls, "because they come in every shape and size, size, size, size.."

"if honey's what you covet.." Hunny piped in while eating a slice of cake.

"you'll find that they love it.." Mori added in lowly.

"Not you too!" Kyouya sighed as he watched in awe at Tamki and the, sudden, sea of dancing females.

"C'MON KYOUYA SING WITH US! TAKE IT AWAY LADIES!"

"because they'll guzzle up the thing you prize!..."

"EVERYONE!"

"they're black, they're brown  
they're up, they're down  
they're in, they're out  
they're all about….."

"A heffalump is…."

"Tamaki….."

"A woozle is…"

"If you don't….."

"they're far, they're near  
they're gone, they're hear  
they're quick and slick  
they're insincere……"

"Beware…"

"Beware…" added hunny and Mori to the girls.

"BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


	10. Chapter 10

"Asami…Is this really going to…WORK!" she yelped out in sudden pain as said girl pulled the draw strings to her corset.

"Stop whining. You look fabulous!"

"But I feel" she winced, "woozy."

"That's just a side effect to the corset. It's to suck in that ever so present flab you have around your stomach."

"Flab?"

Asami nodded and finished tieing the strings to the back of the brunette's corset; stepping back to examine her handy work once finished, "Yes. You have gained quite a few pounds Haruhi. Kyouya needs a girl who will stay in shape."

"He hasn't metioned anything about my weight."

Asami rolled her eyes and faked a smile; quietly wishing the girl would stop questioning everything she said. "He was only being nice. You know kyouya isn't outright like that."

"Well, I don't think I gained weight."

"Well you have. Now stand still.." she abruptly stopped and grabbed the little black dress laid across the love seat's arm; bringing it over to haruhi to put on, "And put this cute number on. It shows ALL your curves."

"I don't know about this Asami." She looked at the little black dress to examine its details. Come to find out, it was very short, barely covering her bottom, had a low cut V-shape neck line, and had a huge lit that went up to her waist. Haruhi felt it was quite trashy and held no amount of taste what so ever. "It looks…."

"CUTE?"

"No…" she cleared her throat, "Trashy. It's like I am a street walker in training."

"But kyouya likes that. Don't you want to impress him?"

"Yes but I won't downgrade myself to do so."

Asmai sighed as she tried to maintain her cool. "Haruhi, kyouya likes a girl who bares it all."

"Well….maybe I can improvise on a current dress I already own."

"NO!" she shouted and Haruhi flinched back, surprised at the girls sudden change in mood, "YOU WILL WEAR THE DRESS!!!"

"Sorry Asami but I won't. I won't look like a hoe just to impress a guy."

"Then I guess I have no choice but to force you."

**PRINCESSLADYPRINCESSLADYPRINCESSLADY**

"Tamaki-kun, Tamaki-kun! HELP!"

"Kimi?" the blonde boy asked in wonder, "What's wrong? You alright?"

"No! Asami is plotting to win Kyouya for herself by sabatoging and brain washing Haruhi!"

"THAT FIEND!"

"What's going on?" asked a familiar squeaky voice as its owner came into view on top of its cousin, "Haru-chan alright?"

"No" Kimi breathed, "Asami is plotting to win Kyouya for herself by brain washing and sabatoging Haruhi!"

"THAT FIEND!"

Hunny rolled his eyes at the French boy and directed his colored orbs back to the girl. "so what should we do?"

"Ah." Added Mori in a concerned momotone voice.

"Well my sister is already devising a plan to stop her before she gets too far. But I will need you guys help."

"Anything for Haruhi. We need to stop Asami!"

"THAT FIEND!"

"Shut up Tamaki and focus!" Kimi's voice rang out as she slapped the boy upside the head, "Now here is the plan…"

Gathering around in a small huddle, the four began to discuss the plan to stop the devious Asami, earning everything from "AH'S!" to the infamous "THAT FIEND! As their small discussion went unnoticed from the man this all dealt with.

**PRINCESSLADYPRINCESSLADYPRINCESSLADY**

"Perfect!" Asami squealed as she gazed at Haruhi in awe, "You look so perfect! Just what Kyouya would want you to look like."

"I feel naked Asami." Haruhi complained as she tried to shield her half naked body from the eyes of the girl, "Can I put on something else?"

She shook her head no as she walked up to the girl to add the finishing touches to her outfit. "You look amazing. Kyouya would love you. You are perfect in his eyes now."

Haruhi got quiet as she darted her eyes to the marble floor. "But I don't feel like myself. This isn't right."

"Do you want Kyouya?"

"Yes but I won't…"

"Do you!?"

"….Yes."

"Then reel him in first. He likes hoe looking girls so give it to him. No wait here while I go get that butterfly clip to add to your hair. It'll set this outfit off!"

"But.."

"BE RIGHT BACK!" she shouted as she ran from the girl towards a back room, disappearing behind the curtain and into god knows where. All haruhi could do was stare in awe as she admired the speed in which the girl traveled and contemplate on whether or not to go through with this. It was her intention to get Kyouya to be her boyfriend, but she wasn't too fond of the measures she had to go through to do that. She was the kind of girl who rarely wore dresses and when she did, they always had jeans beneath them. She was the kind of girl who would wear gym shoes rather than heels and have nothing but a thin layer of lip gloss rather than have her whole face made up. She was a plain girl who

wasn't too fond of dressing like someone she was not in order to impress someone. She wanted Kyouya but the questions he had to ask herself was how much.

Walking over to Asami's forgotten stereo, Haruhi quickly turned it on and allowed a familar Disney Channel movie song run out its speakers and fill the room. Picking up it's matching microphone, and checking to see if the girl had come back yet, prayfully she hadn't, Haruhi began to feel the beat and go along with the tempo; beginning to sing the lyrics.

"I like who I am, but I guess you don't  
I think that I can, but you think I won't  
Amount to anything at all.

If you love me, you sure show it strange  
Is there anything that you wouldn't change?  
I can be your paper doll

I wanna be perfect,  
But I'm me  
I wanna be flawless,  
But you see  
Every little crack,  
Every chip,  
Every dent,  
Every little mistake, yeah  
I wanna be perfect  
Just like you  
But there's only so much that a girl can do  
When I look in the mirror,  
What I see makes sense to me, yeah  
Perfectly  
Perfectly….."

Walking over to the picture conveniently laid out of Kyouya, Haruhi began to sing again.

"I like worn-out shoes, you like high heels  
And fantasies, but I'm what's real  
I guess you could say the shoe don't fit  
Maybe I'm from Venus, you're from Mars  
My imperfections are what they are  
I guess one of us must deal with it

I wanna be perfect,  
But I'm me  
I wanna be flawless,  
But you see  
Every little crack,  
Every chip,  
Every dent,  
Every little mistake, yeah  
I wanna be perfect  
Just like you  
But there's only so much that a girl can do  
When I look in the mirror,  
What I see makes sense to me, yeah  
Perfectly  
Oh, perfectly

I try to fit in the mold that you make  
But I'm tired of playing this little charade

I wanna be perfect,  
But I'm me  
I wanna be flawless,  
But you see  
Every little crack,  
Every chip,  
Every dent,  
Every little mistake, yeah  
I wanna be perfect  
Just like you  
But there's only so much that a girl can do  
When I look in the mirror,  
What I see makes sense to me, yeah  
Perfectly "


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Sorry for the delay

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. Here's the next chapter to my crack-fic.**

"She totally bought it Shrio." A male voice rang through the other end of the telephone line, "Yes, yes, she is quite gullible, and in a matter of hours- if and when my plan works perfectly, Kyouya will be mine!"

"**Not if we can help it first."**

"Alright Shiro, I'll talk to you later."

"**Finally she's getting off the phone."**

"_**Shh. We're on a stake out remember?!"**_

"**Sorry!"**

"Oh and don't forget the stuff. I'll need it to humiliate Haruhi later on before the club ends." The same male voice assured the girl that the request had already been taken care of, "Alright. Kisses little brother."

"**She's about to hang up the phone."**

"_**Wish she'll hurry up" **_A sigh escaped the owner's lips, "_**I'm ready for some cake."**_

"**Cake!?"**

"I love being me!" The raven haired girl sighed as she ended the call; putting her cell phone away in her purse while directing her attention towards the he fern like thing in the nearby corner.

"**Yeah right, she's so cocky."**

Asami smirked. "Kami, I know you and your sister are behind the plant like…thing." She giggled her infamous giggle, "You can come on out now."

"**Shit!" **the elder twin cursed, "**How'd she find out?"**

Kimi shrugged as she crawled out from behind the plant shielding her and her sister's presence. "Hello Asami." The girl stood up full height and brushed her uniform dress, "I see you found us."

"No shit Sherlock." Kami rolled her eyes as she too stood to full height, "We know about your plan by the way."

"Yeah, it'll never work."

Asami plastered a look of amusement upon her face as a slight chuckle escaped her freshly glossed lips. It took the two female twins aback slightly and left them confused. "One, You won't stop me and two, if you all are gong to spy, at least be quiet with it."

Kimi shot a deathly glare at her twin sister. "Told you we should have kept quiet."

"You said that!?" Kami yelled in her defense, "I strictly remember that it was ME who said that."

"Yeah right!"

"Don't back talk me!"

"What you plan to do about it!?"

"Come on and find out!"

"GIRLS!" Asami exclaimed out as she quickly stepped in between the two bickering teenagers, "If you're going to fight, do it on your own time, but not on mine. I have a man to get."

"Not if well help it!"

"Yeah…CRUELLA DEVILL!"

Asami smirked and folded her slender arms across her pubescent protruding chest. "Cruella Devill," she thought about it for a moment, "I like that nickname."

"Get used to it bitch because once the school finds out your plan…"

"That's what you'll go by!" Kimi finished off for her sister; earning a smirk and a high five from her twin.

"Oh please. Asami giggled, "Who will they believe? You two or me?"

Kami shot a sly smirk to her sister as she quietly pulled out her portable sound system; hooking it up to an unknown source. It was a queue Kimi got quickly that signaled her to get ready because the plan was about to be put into action.

"They'll certainly believe us Asami because everything you do or say is a lie."

"Like they'll believe you two freaks." She smirked and flipped her freshly done hair back, "Remember, I'm Cruella Devill baby."

"Exactly." With a flick of a red switch embedded onto the silver player, yet, another familiar Disney ™ began to ring through out the empty corridor. It was one Asami quickly recognized.

"We'll teach you to mess with our friends."

"Well bring it then."

"Cruella De Vil

Cruella De Vil

If she doesn't scare you

No evil thing will…'"

"To see her is to

Take a sudden chill

Cruella, Cruella De Vil…"

"Awe," Asami faked a tear, "you two are singing my theme song. How cute."

"Can it!"

She giggled. "Oh sorry, please continue."

"The curl of her lips

The ice in her stare

All innocent children

Had better beware…."

"She's like a spider waiting

For the kill

Look out for Cruella De Vil…"

In an instant, to the twin's surprise, Asami quickly snatched the microphone from out of Kimi's hands and brought it to her lips; ready to sing the remaining vocals. "May I?"

"HEY!"

"This is our song!" Kimi yelped out, obviously pissed that her microphone was missing.

The raven haired girl just shrugged and caught the remaining beat of the song.

"At first you think

Cruella is the devil…"

"Asami!"

"But after time has worn

Away the shock

You come to realize…"

"STOP!"

"You've seen her kind of eyes

Watching you from underneath

A rock!"

"It's or song!" Kimi made a leap towards the girl to grab the microphone; unable to catch it because of Asami's quick pace of dance steps.

"This vampire bat

This inhuman beast

She ought to be locked up

And never released…"

"STOP Singing!" The twins yelled in unison, both highly upset about the turn of events.

"The world was such

A wholesome place until…"

"Asami!"

"Cruella…"

"STOP!" they yelled again.

"Cruella…"

"ASAMI!"

"Cruella, Cruella De Vil." She let out a hearty laugh and threw the mic down onto the floor, "Try to stop me now bitches! Kyouya WILL be mine."


End file.
